Understanding ANGER by understanding MIND !!! Anger is good !!!

KNOW YOUR ANGER

Isn’t your anger the main villain in your life ? For those who have spent enormous amounts of time thinking of how to control this emotion ?....It is the emotions give life in the journey of humans, that make us a living being, the expressions ! As seven colours combine and form a magnificent rainbow, so does the wide variety of emotions that a human expresses adds colour to life.Emotions may be defined in simple (layman) words as  the positive or negative reactions towards an object, an incident or a situation that may be experienced or felt. It influences the thought, decisions and action of the person involved.Emotions are the magnetic forces resposible for attraction or repulsion towards anything.It also helps in understanding a person and thereby help in conditioning themselves accordingly.Here, emotions as said earlier should not be classified as positive or negative, it is wrong to do so, because nature has designed it for the good of humans.

ANALYSIS OF ANGER

I recollect an incident where an invigilator behaved rudely with me. I reacted by saying “sir ! I think you should behave a little bit more politely towards students. He immediately responded , ‘’are you teaching me how to behave ? “, and thus by saying this he took away my hall ticket. I strongly reacted again, “please sir give me the card or else say the reason why you are taking it !” Atlast, the problem was solved by other invigilators interferring.After writing the exams, I calmly analysed this incident. I found out three reasons that provoked me to react in such a manner. The primary reason was that , the exam was a bit difficult. The second reason was that in an earlier exam, the person had behaved rudely with me. I connected the above incident with this and thus came to a conclusion that he intentionally behaved rudely with me so as to embarrass me. The third and final reason was that , the rude behaviour itself acted as a trigger for bringing out the past memories in me in the form of arguments. So may be we get angry because of the involvement of past memories also, which we may not be conscious of.

There may be internal and external reasons for anger. They are :

INTERNAL

1.unfulfilled desires

2.self depraisal

3.desire for power

4.guilt

5.rejection

6.the inbuilt concepts of right and wrong

7.ill-health

8.so called negative expressions or attitudes or behaviours

EXTERNAL

1.Relations

2.Work related stress

3.Surrounding environment

4.Intoxication mainly alcohol

5.Condition of the society

6.Conflict of cultures and media

7.Situations

-One of the main reasons for anger are the inability to fulfil tasks and not getting enough rewards

-Asking or rather provoking a boy, by saying “are you a boy ?”  is the apt example for self depraisal . This questions targets specifically on his personality and hits the target provided he has a low self esteem, and thus he reacts to defend his personality by anger.

-The need for power and to influence other is one of the basic desires of human being. The persons who have high thirst for power will react strongly towards the people who seem to cause obstruction towards it.

-Suppose a person has commited an offense such a stealing colleagues money, mentioning that specific incident makes him restless and he is prone to react quickly. So persons carrying guilt react quicly.

-Those persons who are rejected from a group get angry quickly. The rejection from the society and family causes pain, hatred and enimity in the mind of the person.

-If you do anything injustifically, the instinct of ones judjement of right and wrong provokes to act against this situation by means of anger.

-Due to improper sleep, due to hereditary inherited traits, due to any diseases, due to lethargy , due to hypertension a person may get angry quickly.

(THREE PILLARS OF SELF ESTEEM

There are three pillars of self esteem, they are the realization that every human are important irrespective of their caste, creed or socio-economic status, the next is the thing called as unconditional love that remains within us all, that pervades us all, when we concentrate on this phenomena within us we are able to behave with everyone in a pleasant manner.The third is the realization that every human being deserves to be respected and loved in the same way as others, which paves for the internal as well as his external development, reducing his vibrations.)

-The personal habits and behavioural patterns influence how a person reacts to a situation , so it is important from the part of the person to cultivate good habits and behaviours.

-The family is the basic unit of society and that provides all sorts of security for a person. Problems in the family undoubtedly affect a person, may it be financial troubles, ill-health of relatives, quarrels with spouses, mother, father or brothers or sisters etc. So it is important to maintain a stable familial relationship to reduce anger.

-Problems that happen in our society such as,  excessive physical strain due to travelling, over talking in phones and other social networking sites, over engagement with relatives, problems of coping with neighbours, religious responsibilities, conflict of view points of the society etc…

-Unhealthy food habits do cause over reactivity. For healthy food habits do follow the below instructions. Regular and foods with proper nutrition. Do not consume excessive foods. Eat foods that are prepared form the home only. Drink lots of water, approximately about 12 glasses of water. Consume lots of fruits and vegetables, especially green leafy vegetables. During fasting drink lots of water. Obese persons should avoid over consumption, skipping a meal would help ! Eat different types of food. While eating do eat slowly and show respect towards the food that you eat by a small prayer before eating ! Its good ! Does good !

-Attitude plays a large role in anger. Negatitivity or rejection are a type of attitiude that is responsible for anger, which is the unacceptance of unfavourable realities. Not hearing things said or acting like, acting like sleeping, not seeing things intentionally, giddiness and vertigo, not giving proper attention to things said and not concentrating, showing excessive busyness….these are some coping mechanisms to escape from unfavourable realities.

-Repressed emotions due to conditioning of the soceity are another cause of anger.

-Showing anger towards a person since he may be angry with his wife or friends or family.

-For covering up ones own failures a person may react angrily when reminded, just like a person asking for more rest after getting injured, just to avoid work and responsibilities.

-Day dreaming without proper efforts for that dream to be realized, may result in person getting angry over silly situations, in not getting things done, when he had not taken any initiatives.

HOW TO AVOID ANGER ?

A sensitive heart is like a colour ful garden , that attracts butterflies. That heart which is full of love and goodness is sure to attract many persons and is the reason for many success stories. Such individuals can tolerate external vibrations from other persons , can understand them, and can give them relief. To understand oneself and others is the first step towards compassion. Hearts unite when understanding grows. This leads to self less love between individuals. So instead of bogging your mind of unnecessary thoughts and doubts about your future and career, lend an ear to what others say, understand them, may be they need you and that you be of some help, which if you do can change the whole scenario and may put an end to the vicious circle of hatred and anger. Accept other persons devoid of their right and wrong, goodness and badness, acceptance and non-acceptance. Patience is the next ingredient for compassion. It helps in forgetting the scars of past mistakes, learning from them and moving forward, it also gets us rid of negative thoughts, rejective thoughts as mentioned earlier.

ATTITUDE TOWARDS ANGER

How we take anger to be , how we see it plays an important role in anger influencing our lives. That view point influences how we face the future. Provided the fact that there is a general rule that one should control emotions, anger should not be viewed as a negative emotion ! I don’t dream of a world that is without quarrel, hate and fight. We make toddlers cry and then we make him happy by giving sweets. We did this so very easily to fight and then to join later during our childhood, but don’t know what happened when we grew up, we somehow forgot that behavior, we fought but forgot to join later, making all relationships brittle and temporary. All the laughter and cry became a pseudo act without any genuinity ! What a pity ! Consciousness is the key to the development and nourishment of ones life . Depending upon how much a person understands himself , that much he has self respect. The complexity of ones own mind can be understood only in the depth of ones own thought. An individual is given merit based on how he handles the situation after the episodes of anger as these are inevitable. When you get anger the relation scatter into pieces, that phenomena being inevitable, your value lies in hoe quickly you are able to refit those pieces, may be better than before ! The sweet melody while refitting the pieces makes you acceptable. All that glitters is not gold, is one of the oldest and most popular proverbs, that we have heard since childhood. Just as we ignore the beauty of blackness, the same way we ignore anger, the purpose and necessity of it. According to Charles Darwin, theory of the survival of the fittest, anger and fear are the two primary instincts or emotions that are seen in all organisms including human, that helps towards its survival, but the only difference is in their expression of these emotions and the intensity. So anger is good, if it causes good !!!